HMPod.com Podcast 197 — Cooties, Hangman, Broken, Anomalisa, Da Sweet Blood of Jesus, Hardcore Henry, Amnesiac

cooties

What do you mean Cooties?

Greetings, dear listener. We are unbelievably happy to present another episode of The Horror Movie Show, hosted by sweaty Mark & Jerry. This week features reviews of seven movies, all new excepting one from England. Perhaps the Brexit vote has dragged the Brits back in time.

We start with Cooties (2014), a light-hearted zombie romp featuring undead children attempting to feed on the still-living bodies of their teachers. Not so very different from real life. This horror-comedy features Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson & Saw writer/actor Leigh Whannell.

brokenNext up is a pair of video nasties from the occasionally brilliant Adam Mason & Simon Boyes. Hangman (2016) stars Jeremy Sisto & Kate Ashfield as parents who have an unwanted & ultra-nosy visitor in their home. Following that is the older movie already mentioned, Broken (2006), about a man who kidnaps women, tests them in a thoroughly unpleasant manner & then forces them to live with him in the woods. Match.com was never this bad.

anomalisaWriter & co-director Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, among others) presents another surreal story — Anomalisa (2015) — about a jaded man in a frustratingly dull world who meets a fascinating gal. The oddest thing is that the characters are puppets. A unique movie.

da-sweet-blood-of-jesusAnother well-known director, Spike Lee, takes the plunge into the horror genre with Da Sweet Blood of Jesus (2014), a vampire tale with a distinctly African feel. Rami Malek (Mr. Robot) has a worthwhile supporting role.

HardcoreHenry_1-WEBMore fun than it has a right to be, Hardcore Henry (2016) is similar to watching a first-person shooter game. With a camera attached to Henry’s head, we watch him from the moment he wakes up on an operating table, a man with no memories at all. Horribly mangled & dead, he has been brought back to life as a super-soldier. A very good sci-fi flick, with the always watchable South African actor Sharlto Copley in multiple, hilarious roles.

amnesiacFinally, Wes Bentley & Kate Bosworth star in Amnesiac (2015). This too is a story about a guy waking up with no memory of his past life & a beautiful woman claiming to be his wife. This film could be compared to Memento, though not as heavy-handed.

Here’s hoping nobody spontaneously combusts while listening to this episode. It is getting hot here & the magnificent Splutt Building has no air conditioning. Excuse me while I join the rest of the staff in the rusty shower cubicle in the basement. Cheers!

HMPod.com Podcast 196 — The Boy (2016), High-Rise, Son of Saul, Plan 9, Lavalantula, Hell & Back, Spotlight

theBoy 2016

Lauren Cohan gets The Boy

An unpleasantly warm & humid greeting to you, dear listener. Welcome to another episode of The Horror Movie Show, hosted once more by those sweaty guys Jerry & Mark. Are you ready? Then let’s begin.

The lovely Lauren Cohan — Maggie on The Walking Dead — plays an American nanny lost in an English world of the fantastic in The Boy. Though her new charge is a lifeless dummy, some decidedly creepy goings-on convince her that there is more to her job than just playing with dolls.

highriseFollowing that is an odd movie, an allegory for the class system & an opportunity for dry wit. Tom Hiddleston stars in High-rise, along with a host of very good British actors including Jeremy Irons. The film is based on a novel by J.G. Ballard. If you know any of that author’s work, you know he could create a mighty peculiar world.

Son of Saul is set in the horrific world of the Sonderkommando, the Nazi concentration camp inmates forced to do the dirty work of pushing people into the gas chambers, robbing them & then disposing of the corpses. One day a boy arrives whom Saul (Geza Rohrig) believes is his son. The majority of the movie is taken up with Saul’s attempt to give the child a Jewish burial. It is scarier than any horror movie & very well done.

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Plan 9 has large intentions. Supposedly this is a more professionally made version of legendarily awful filmmaker Ed Wood‘s Plan 9 from Outer Space. Does the new movie succeed? Um… no.

Another bad movie — though a lot more fun to watch — is Lavalantula. Starring the once-mighty Steve Guttenberg, this flick from the same producers as the Sharknado series, inflicts gigantic fire-breathing spiders on the poor people of L.A. Hot stuff.

hellandback02The animated feature Hell & Back is about a couple of friends who attempt to rescue a third chum from the flaming pits of Hell. The voices are mostly done by comedic actors, with Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul, Mr. Show) as the scene-stealing Devil. An amusing flick.

Finally, another movie that is not strictly a horror film. Spotlight is the mostly true story of a team of Boston investigative reporters who break the story of Catholic priests sexually abusing children & the cover-up that went all the way to the top of the Catholic Church. You’d think a priest would understand about right & wrong and sin, but it seems not.

Try & stay cool, gang. It’s burning up out there!

HMPod.com Podcast 195 — Fear the Walking Dead, The Witch, Couple in a Hole, Capt. America: Civil War, The Survivalist, Requiem for the American Dream, The Man Who Fell to Earth

TheWitch

The Witch sees all, hears all, nose all

Hello to all our friends & nosy listeners out there in the big, smelly world. This honking great episode of The Horror Movie Show — hosted, of course, by the nasal Mark & Jerry — is stuffed full of throbbing, unnatural meat that should be excised & cleared away as soon as possible. Let us start.

First a bit of jibber-jabber about the new season of Fear the Walking Dead. It certainly hasn’t been as exciting as its progenitor, plain old The Walking Dead, but our hosts plunge deeply into various hot, moist cavities to see what they can dig up.

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One of the most intriguing movies to cause nosebleeds in recent years, The Witch: A New-England Folktale has a feel of authenticity about it. There is a witch, there is magic, there is even perhaps a devil in the form of a large, black billygoat. But the psychological underpinnings of The Witch are far more interesting than the addlepated nonsense believed by ignorant superstitious primitives. (Sounds like we’re talking about Trump supporters.) Well worth a look, though the old-timey British accents may be tough on a lazy ear or clogged nose.

coupleInaHoleCostarring the same actress as The WitchKate Dickie —writer-director Tom GeensCouple in a Hole is a quirky tale of madness from grief & how atonement can sometimes make things much worse. A little European movie that relies on a great script & fine acting to entertain, it is proof that a big budget isn’t necessary to a good movie.

captAmericaCivilWarOn the other hand, Mark reviews Captain America: Civil War to see just what a quarter of a billion dollars can buy today. A lot of special effects, for one, and special appearances by Spidey & Ant-Man. Those guys don’t come cheap.

survivalistAnother small British movie, The Survivalist does not rely on wandering zombies to make a future almost empty of human beings into a terrifying place. More closely allied with the excellently gloomy The Road (book first, movie second), this is a dark tale of surviving by the skin of the nose.

Mentioned briefly, Noam Chomsky‘s perhaps final interviews before the camera make up the majority of Requiem for the American Dream. If you are a fan of Bernie Sanders, you will likely like this documentary.

The man who fell to earth 4The episode wraps with a review of the excellent & hypnotic The Man Who Fell to Earth. Arguably David Bowie‘s best film role, the story of an alien from a drought-ravaged planet searching for water to take home is both heart-wrenching & more timely today than ever. The supporting cast — most notably Candy Clark, Rip Torn & Buck Henry — are all wonderful. This is a good place to start if you want to know another side of the Thin White Duke, so recently removed from our gigantic sinus of existence. Hope you enjoy!

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Finally, on a personal note, Jerry thanks all those kind folks who have been supportive of his recent nasal surgery trials. After six days, the surgeon says all went very well & many years of better breathing is in store for our loudmouthed, self-centred cohost. Cheers, you guys. You’re the best.

HMPod.com Podcast 194 — Hidden, The 5th Wave, The Veil, Howl, Regression, Dudes & Dragons, Unnatural

hiddenWhat is Hidden should be uncovered

A jolly day to you all! Welcome to a newly opened & well-lubricated episode of The Horror Movie Show, driven by those jocular jerks Jerry & Mark. Plenty of reviews this time around & some of the movies are pretty good.

First up is Hidden, starring Alexander Skarsgard, Andrea Riseborough & Emily Alyn Lind as a family hiding out after what sounds suspiciously like yet another in a long line of zombie apocalypses. But wait! This dark, fascinating film takes the shambling undead & turns them on their heads. Quite a trick.

5thWaveThe 5th Wave stars the always lovely Chloe Grace Moretz as a teenager who must battle an invading horde of alien creature hell-bent on doing unpleasant things to us poor humans. Not unlike the endless horde of zombie movies, the teen-battles-evil theme is overused & often tired. Did we mention that Chloe is lovely?

theVeilAnother pretty gal stars in The Veil, a gruesome take on a Jonestown-style cult & its self-destruction. The best thing about this movie is Thomas Jane as Jim Jacobs; he’s almost unrecognizable & great fun to watch. Jessica Alba stars as the pretty gal.

howl2015′s Howl is a good British take on werewolves, with a stranded train in the middle of nowhere & a lot of very frightened passengers. Directed by Paul Hyett, this is a fun movie about a short trip gone awry.

RegressionGood ol’ Ethan Hawke stars in yet another in a string of horror movies — Regression — this time as a detective trying to figure out what nastiness happened to a young woman at the hands of a coven of Satanists. Harry Potter‘s Emma Watson is all grown up & troubled by her shady memories of abuse at the hands of the Beëlzebubbas.

And finally a pair of flicks that may or may not suit everyone’s taste. Dudes & Dragons is a humorous take on sword & sorcery stories. Unnatural is a not-funny story of DNA-meddling & polar bears. Oh, those darn scientists!

So please remember, dear listeners, to keep your arms & legs inside the car at all times & enjoy The Horror Movie Show. Are you ready? Then here we go….

HMPod.com Podcast 193 — Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, Deadpool, Hunger Games: Mockingjay 2, Cabin Fever (2016), Frankenstein (2015), Extinction

pride_prejudice_zombies

The zombies just keep coming!

An overly warm & sweaty greeting to you, dear listener, on this auspicious date of 4/20. Thank you so much for choosing to spend time listening to our groovy hosts Mark & Jerry as they exhale yet another smoky episode of The Horror Movie Show.

Starting with the gorgeous period piece Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, this take-off of the Jane Austen classic sticks close to the original except with lots of shambling, rambling undead corpses. That muffled banging you hear is Miss Austen trying to claw her way out of the casket.

deadpoolThe remarkably funny & violent Deadpool is being touted as the first adult superhero movie. Regardless, Ryan Reynolds does a terrific job as the mercenary who is forced to become an indestructible mutant in one of the most entertaining comic book movies in a while. Compared to Batman v Superman, Deadpool is light, bright & fun to watch.

the-hunger-games-mockingjay-part-2-759The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 finally wraps up this long-winded & over-serious series aimed at a tween audience of would-be revolutionaries. Jennifer Lawrence has proven she’s a good actress, but not in these movies.

cabinfeverThe remake of Eli Roth‘s first big hit — Cabin Fever — could leave you feeling as if you have come down with a mysterious illness that causes the eyes & ears to bleed. Though Roth produced this faithful adaptation of his original script, it seems an exercise in movie-making merely to make money.

frankenstein2015_2-1600x900-c-defaultBernard Rose‘s 2015 version of Frankenstein has some top-grade actors (Danny Huston & Carrie-Anne Moss), some tried & true horror favourites (Tony Todd) & even creates some sympathy for Adam (Xavier Samuel), the unloved monster. But the best parts of the movie are all in the first act & by the end it slips away into a trivial effort.

Extinction (2015) stars Matthew Fox, Jeffrey Donovan & Quinn McCoigan as a trio of survivors of a zombie plague that has morphed into a different kind of apocalypse. This could be called a creature feature, a zombie movie or even a psychologically fraught family flick. One of the better recent efforts in the overused zombie canon.

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And to wrap things up for this episode, Jerry & Mark discuss the first issue of a new comic book series titled We Kill the Dead, the creative team headed by fellow Crypt member & horror supremo John Lepper. The story involves a young woman newly recruited to a sort of Men in Black organization that takes on the likes of Jack the Ripper & other well-known movie bad guys. Lots of famous villains here! And there! Oh no, there’s villains everywhere!