Saturday, July 30th, 2011 at
1:58 pm
Come with me and swell to enormous proportions
There seems to be no way to avoid this swelling, believes Mr. Mark Elf, Horoscopologist supreme and Diviner divine. It is a cold, hard fact that the atmosphere is being tainted by dreaded Greenhouse Gases. Automobiles, the meat industry, petrochemical conglomerates, off-Broadway musical revues — all are speedily and abundantly creating and releasing vast quantities of methane, carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases. Well, says Mr. Elf, not fast enough.
Pull your finger from the gas-hole and touch this
Wednesday, July 27th, 2011 at
3:34 pm
Vehicular manslaughter made easy
This episode of The Horror Movie Show — with your horrible hosts Mark & Jerry — begins with a new invention that is sure to make driving a whole ‘nother experience. And if you don’t much care for that, we’ve got reviews of the hilariously awful Hobo with a Shotgun, super-campy Dahmer vs. Gacy, the classic ’50s sci-fi flick It Came from Outer Space and give you the low-down on the much-anticipated prequel to John Carpenter’s The Thing. Now sit back, take your hands off the wheel and enjoy a nice snack as we drive straight towards that cliff….
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Saturday, July 23rd, 2011 at
2:34 pm
Mr. Mark Elf’s favourite game
A slightly lighter tone is struck in the midst of this week’s Horoscopic Fomentations and why not? It’s summertime and the living is easy — so long as you have air conditioning and the money for all the Popsicles you desire. If you live on the street, however, or in a crummy apartment with a super who thinks boiling you in your home in worth a chuckle or three, then we here at the Horror Movie Show website suggest you try to move into a small body of fresh water in order to keep cool. If that doesn’t work, try fanning yourself with a copy of the latest blockbuster by Stephen King. I don’t know. I can’t think in this awful heat….
Time to learn a new mode of enjoyment
Saturday, July 16th, 2011 at
1:45 pm
Death dogs our heels, rarely heals our dogs
Due to a death in the family, Mr. Mark Elf has been rather too preoccupied with personal matters this last week. Astute believers might have noticed that there was no Horrorscope Column last week. This unusual situation occurred simply because Mr. Elf was involved with intense séance work and trying to contact the Dear Departed. While he had no luck talking to the Deceased, he did get through to a Mrs. Urethra Restop of Dallas-Forth Worth. Evidently it was quite warm in Texas. In any case, Mr. Elf is back and prognosticating most alarmingly once again. Enjoy…?
Gather ’round the table, join hands and think of The Haunted Mansion
Wednesday, July 13th, 2011 at
11:17 am
An eclectic mix for the sophisticated horror fan
This week’s Horror Movie Show features commentary on a plethora of great movies, including Turistas and Vinyan, some not-so-great movies (Drive Angry, Altitude) and more (The Dead Outside, The Experiment). Jam-packed with thrills, chills and the occasional giggle, this episode is hosted by the ghastly Jerry & Mark. If you listen very, very carefully, you can hear them holding hands during the scarier moments.
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