Archive for August, 2011

Horrorscopes by Mark Elf

Infestations & Mighty, Mighty Bosstones

This week’s column was submitted to the hmpod.com offices in the mighty Fleen Building on large, soft clay tablets, painstakingly overwritten in Cuneiform. This made it fairly difficult for our secretary, Mrs. Edwina Poppercorner, to decipher. It is highly likely that at least three of the 12 Horoscopocological Utterances are completely wrong. Which ones? Do you really care?

Mrs. Poppercorner is hungry for a man

More spooky movies than you can imagine

No idea what the above title means, folks. However, here is another full episode of The Horror Movie Show with your garrulous hosts Mark & Jerry. This time the boys discuss Vanishing on 7th Street (starring Hayden Christensen), Dylan Dogg: Dead of Night, the David Lynch wannabe Nightmare and Train (with the ultra-attractive Thora Birch). FYI, the movie that Jerry stumblingly tries to remember starring Fred Ward (the role later reprised by Dennis Hopper) is Cast a Deadly Spell. Ward plays Det. Harry Philip Lovecraft. Well worth checking out. Have fun!

Horrorscopes by Mark Elf

And a cut-glass punchbowl shall lead them

Actor Michael Caine is a stalwart of both the good and bad. He has made good movies and he has made bad movies. He has done good deeds and bad. He has slept in good hotels and, of course, bad hotels. He has had sex with good women and women who are, quite simply, bad. But most importantly, he has nothing whatsoever to do with this week’s Horoscopocological and Mantological fomentations. Why would he? These gems are nothing but good, good, good.

Michael Caine says: “Dere’s not many people know dat.”

Join us on our quest for the Holy…

Oops, wrong movie

On this new episode of The Horror Movie Show with Jerry & Mark, our intrepid and only slightly idiotic hosts discuss Red Riding Hood, the philosophical smash hit Megapython vs. Gateroid, genuinely creepy After.Life with the ultra-attractive Christina Ricci and the nicely done medieval witch-hunt Black Death. Ah, they don’t make plagues like they used to! What else is discussed in this show? You must listen or die in ignorance!

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