Sunday, November 27th, 2011 at
2:56 pm
Congratulations are in order
Or are they? One can never know for sure what is festering in the soupy, gooey sludge that fills the misshapen cranial cup of our miracle-worker, the one and only Prognosticator Extraordinaire Mark Elf. While there is no doubt the Great Man can see into the future (at least as far as lunchtime), he does not see a lot of good. Doom, gloom, dark clouds, rains of fire, rains of toads, rains of blood — and much, much worse — all these and more await you whether you read this latest Horrorscope or not. You might as well have a giggle, eh.
Who the Hell plays Croquet these days anyway?
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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011 at
5:15 pm
It’s good to be included…
…Unless there’s a mad German scientist involved and he wants to stitch your face to someone else’s backside. Then you should opt out of that particular club. However, your intrepid hosts Jerry & Mark grab the victim by the tailend and face the grim realities of both the darkly funny The Human Centipede and its better-than-expected sequel. Also reviewed on this edition of The Horror Movie Show: the wittily titled The Dead Matter, the overblown Vlog, the interesting Wake Wood and one truly awful flick, The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol. Now… everybody kneel down, get in line and wait your turn to be stapled to your new best pal. The Third Reich was nothing like this… Ah, der fun ve haff!
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Sunday, November 20th, 2011 at
2:08 pm
The best route to China
Our resident Prognosticator — the renowned and unhygienic Mr. Mark Elf — is back and he’s been gracious enough to hand over another dozen Horoscopocological Harbingers of what will occur over the next seven days. It looks like all the Water Signs are in for a rough week, as are the Fire and Earth people, too. Luckily, the remaining humans will escape with only some road-burns to their buttocks. Make sure you bring some topical disinfectant.
Click me for the ride of your life, big boy
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Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 at
1:12 pm
Another delicious & nutritious episode
Greetings, loyal listeners! This all-new and extra-creamy edition of The Horror Movie Show, hosted as always by lovable chatterboxes Mark & Jerry, contains 30 per cent fewer peanuts than our normal episode. So while it’s not safe for anyone with a peanut allergy — in fact, it could still be deadly — the point is we are trying. Check our list of ingredient for further details, including a review of Contagion, the star-filled Hollywood blockbuster about world pandemic, the Bradley Cooper vehicle Limitless, The Bleeding House (excellent old-style horror) and the execrable Space Zombie Bingo (which has neither space, zombies nor Bingo — ripoff or what?). Jerry & Mark also blether on for a bit about fave-rave TV show The Walking Dead. Then everything is blanketed in a thick, rich coating of what may or may not be chocolate. What a delicious mix.
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Sunday, November 13th, 2011 at
4:44 pm
Local Astrologer in night of terror
All eyes may now fill with tears for poor Mr. Mark Elf, our own purveyor of preternatural prognostications. Shortly before the dear but odiferous fellow was set to turn in his 52nd Horrorscope column, he was caught up in an evening of frightening intensity that would have fried the eggs of even the bravest of hearty souls. Needless to say, thanks to his quick wits and love of cross-dressing, Mr. Elf survived his encounter with a creature so terrifying that any other human being would have been wet with the sheer horror of it all. Please, read on….
Do you think he really wants to change tires?
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