Come and eat this meat we found
There’s nothing wrong with chewing on another animal, particularly if that animal is tasty and cooked. Until the invention of fire (about 300 years ago), humans ate everything raw and this meant a sudden increase in trichinosis and hoof-n-mouth disease, at least among the Irish.
This week’s Horoscopocological Column is designed to be as satisfying as a good sirloin, while offering the sort of juicy mouthfeel associated with a well-prepared porkchop. For dessert, Mr. Mark Elf — Astrologer to the Never Satiated — serves up a hotpot of rib-stickingly good Prognostications, not unlike a shishkebab made up of greasy chunks of succulent spring lamb. Finally, a large gobbet of some sort of rancid fat will complete this Mantological feast.
From the kitchen, hunched over his flaming cooker, Mr. Elf wishes you good luck enjoying this week’s spread. Now, if you’d be so kind, pass the Bromo.