Horrorscopes by Mr. Mark Elf

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The most selfless & generous of loves

Mr. Mark Elf, Horoscopologist to those who can pay, has been in a dark-blue funk recently. It seems his pet pig, Delphina, has been given only a short time to live. The Great Man is devastated and has taken to wandering the endless hallways of the HMPOD.com offices in a tear-filled daze. Well, only the most heartless of monsters would dare say that these deep emotional upwellings are wasted on creatures of another species. But there are cold, miserable haters out there, folks, and they not only find no use for pet dogs, cats, parrots or guinea pigs, they admit openly they are disgusted with such loving behaviour toward our animal friends by any human. A person who is so hard-hearted, so tiny in the natural generosity of spirit, well… that person has no place in the mighty Splutt Building. You know who you are and you are no longer welcome here.

Miracles do happen. Don’t they?

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