Wednesday, August 29th, 2012 at
5:27 pm
The Batman is getting old
Hello, good day & welcome to The Horror Movie Show. Hosted by Mark & Jerry, this week’s episode features reviews of The Dark Knight Rises, the final flick in writer/director Christopher Nolan‘s Batman trilogy. A dark film — figuratively & literally — the boys give their opinions on this summer blockbuster, and then some.
Also critiqued is 2011 horror dampfest The Watermen. It seems some Atlantic fishermen have been inbreeding & developed a taste for human chum, pal. Swim away from the boat!
It’s still pretty warm in most parts of the Northern Hemisphere, so don’t get overheated as you disagree violently with our argumentative hosts. Unless you’re feeling a chill. If that’s the case, throw on your winter coat and snuggle up close.
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Monday, August 27th, 2012 at
4:43 pm
Hot air in dangerous amounts in U.S. south
The teabaggers, christian rightwingers & GOP idiots are gathered together this week in what might be the best opportunity for Jesus to prove just what a left-leaning hippie humanist he really is. Although the weather is primed to possibly take out the Republican convention this week, in the opinion of Your Humble Astrologer, now is the time for some god or gods to strike a celestial hammer-blow to the nutjobs, maybe with a gigantic meteor or asteroid strike. I’m not saying there wouldn’t be innocent casualties, but them’s the breaks. To learn that vicious, shrieking shrew Ann Coulter had been trampled to death in a stampede of panicked teabaggers would make my day, my week, my month and my year. Come on, deities! Whack those morons hard!
For this, we pray to Baal The One-Eyed!
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Monday, August 27th, 2012 at
3:18 pm
Horror fans gather for fun & flesh-eating
Howdy folks! Jerry here. Just wanted to give a shout out to the hard-working folks putting together the EverybodyDiesFilmFest, to be held in Orange County, California, October 12 and 13. With a new short film — Survivor Type — premiering (based on a Stephen King story) and plenty of other events, this certainly is worth checking out. The fest’s website is http://www.everybodydiesfilmfest.com/ and if Mark & I were in the L.A. area, we would be there. Alas, we are but poor podcasters & our Lear Jet is in the shop. Have fun!
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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012 at
3:24 pm
Tweens & sailors… meet thieves & trolls
Good day, Ladies & Germs! This episode of The Horror Movie Show, hosted as ever by damp, sweaty Jerry & Mark, features reviews of a few new horror movies, as well as the usual assortment of comments, ribald humour, political disdain & extreme body odour. Movies reviewed this week include The Hunger Games, a flick aimed at the tween crowd, as well as the big, noisy, obnoxious Battleship. Basing an entire movie on a simple board-game might seem like a silly idea, but it’s better than a movie titled Hungry Hungry Hippos.
Mark is of the opinion that the straight-to-video anthology movie V/H/S is worth watching, though Jerry disagrees so violently that blows may have been exchanged between our horrible hosts. And to round out this quadruple-sized dose of scary movies, the boys chat about the blackly comical Norwegian feature Troll Hunter.
Not that anyone ever asks my opinion, but I think the best of the bunch is Troll Hunter. Yumpin’ Yiminy, dat’s vun big tree-headed troll dere!
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Monday, August 20th, 2012 at
1:20 pm
Attention all those in the Circus Arena!
It seems that the Cosmic Background Radiation is trying desperately to convey information to Mr. Mark Elf — Horoscopocologically clever fellow that he is — and the Great Man must spew forth this fairly random clump of facts for all his Faithful Followers. The subject of all the hullabaloo is a blonde woman who may or may not be involved in a traveling circus or sideshow.
Normally, of course, Mr. Elf simply does his Horoscope thang and comes up with an even dozen prognostications to enlighten & inform. But there are times (so Mr. Elf reports) when the Universe needs to get some factoids off its chest, to alert a specific individual to be cautious of what will occur in the near future. Or maybe the Universe is just a big nag-machine. Either way, if you fit the description in this week’s Horrorscope, we wish you nothing but the best of luck.
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