Monday, January 9th, 2012 at
8:48 pm
Is 2012 the last year for Humanity?
Many believe that sometime during the coming 12-month period, the Earth will be laid waste and the wretched refuse of the human race will be wiped out in an absolutely colossal cataclysm that makes an excellent screenplay. Whether it will be Bruce Willis or John Cusack grabbing the last seat on the Mars Express off this burning chunk of detritus does not really matter. What matters is that I am on that rocket. Problem is, I don’t know where the rocket is. Oh well, maybe these end-of-worlders are just loons and there’s nothing to worry about…. Here’s the link to this week’s Horrorscope:
Normally I’m not the sort of person who worries, but…
Oh god, we’re all gonna die…. We’re all gonna die!!! Let me on that rocket! LET ME ON THAT ROCKET! PLEASE! BRUCE! JOHN! DON’T LEAVE WITHOUT ME, CAMERON DIAZ! I LOVE YOU!!!
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012 at
5:06 pm
A New Year of horror begins…
And we’re not even including the further Republican idiocies that will be foisted upon us. Turn your hearing aid off now.
Happy 2012 to all our various listeners, fans, evil-wishers & assorted halflings! We here at The Horror Movie Show sincerely hope that you all had a wonderful Xmas, etc. and are ready to face the coming year with verve and the sort of cockeyed optimism displayed by Billy Mumfries in that MS Elaine was supposed to read.
This, of course, is all beside the point: in this latest episode, Jerry & Mark are ready to “fill you in” on a newish television series out of the Excited States via the Flaming Pit of Hell. American Horror Story is not the only horror series on TV at the moment — haha, it is to laugh — but at least it doesn’t focus on teenagers and their need to suck. Blood, I mean. As well, your poor, put-upon hosts have been forced to watch Paranormal 3, arguably the worst sequel made to a movie so bad it doesn’t deserve a single sequel. It deserves only condemnation & scorn. Heap it on there, people.
Also reviewed: the lacklustre A Haunting in Salem and 11-11-11, an interestingly downplayed horror flick. That’s a nice change. Happy new year!
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Monday, January 2nd, 2012 at
4:01 pm
The start of a brand-new year
Hello and welcome back to all of Mr. Mark Elf‘s several followers. The Great Man has been busy of late; he has either been trying to escape the vicious flocks of violent lambs in an Alternate Universe or he’s been in bed recovering from some sort of self-induced hysterical hallucination. Either way, Mr. Elf wraps up his tale of terror in a Parallel Universe in this week’s column.
We’ve made some changes over the last few weeks here at hmpod.com. Among these changes is a fresh set of underwear for both Mr. Elf and his weirdly flatulent assistant Hoffnung. We are confident that this new linen will mean fewer complaints about webpages being smelly and disgusting. The happiest of new years to all our readers.
Ask not what your country can do for you…
Wednesday, December 28th, 2011 at
2:54 pm
Hostel III teaches viewers lessons
And so we come to the turning of the year and the hopes & dreams of 2012 are now upon us, whether we like it or not…. Let’s face facts: the New Year has already been written off by a lot of people who claim to know The End Is Nigh. Or are these people simply insane in the brain? Quite possibly. In any case, here is the latest episode of The Horror Movie Show. In this hour-long rantfest are discussions by our beloved hosts, Mark & Jerry, of the third instalment in the Hostel series of nasty videos, a review of In Time starring Justin Timberlake and that young lady with the prominent eyeballs, discussion of both Ninjas Vs. Zombies & Ninjas Vs. Vampires. And finally a lively discussion of the low-grade horror comedy Orcs! (the exclamation mark is part of the title; it’s not like I’m particularly excited about the flick).
So that’s it for 2011. Hope all our loyal listeners had a great year & are up for wild times in the coming 12-month period. Stay in touch.
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Friday, December 23rd, 2011 at
12:40 pm
Seasoned greetings to all
With the year grinding inexorably to its noisy, greasy conclusion, The Horror Movie Show (with your harried hosts Jerry & Mark) presents its Second Annual Christmas Horror Movie Spectacular. Yes, at no additional cost to you, our valued & deranged listeners, we present a discussion of Xmas-themed video nasties. After having mentioned these last year, your hosts did manage to dig up some half-rotted copies of these movies — Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, Saint and Silent Night, Zombie Night.
We here at The Horror Movie Show are grateful for all those who have stuck with us over the last year. Let’s hope that we get a few more laughs as the world wobbles ever closer to The Final Armageddon (probably due end of May 2012). Merry Xmas, Happy New Year, Cheery Hanukkah, Crazy-fun Kwanzaa, and more to all!
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